5 The First Email I Sent Out Announcing "Bad News"

3/3/2006

Boy, is the subject of this e-mail ever an understatement.

I don’t think I can handle calling friends and repeating what I have to say many times. It is too emotionally wrenching, so I’m going to write it in an e-mail and send it out to several people at once. There are a lot of unknowns and a lot of questions right now, and I’ll try to keep friends and family informed as events play out.

This morning I had surgery.

There was a lump in a breast that I noticed one evening several weeks ago. It seemed to get better with antibiotics but didn’t go away. My obstetrician sent me to a breast surgeon. The breast surgeon tried to drain it, treating the lump as an abscess. It didn’t drain as an abscess should and this morning’s surgery was for the purpose of exploring the breast tissue to find out what’s going on. A one hour simple procedure became a two hour procedure and the source of the lump was not benign.

Apparently, I have breast cancer. I’m still reeling from the news.

The surgeon thinks she got it all in this morning’s surgery but she has to wait for the pathology reports on Monday to be sure. It appears to be one of the common varieties of breast cancer and she thinks she caught it in an early stage. I’m now facing chemotherapy and radiation treatments after my baby is born. It is likely that labor will be induced so that Kelric will be born sooner rather than later so that my treatment isn’t delayed. I’m due March 29th. I have no idea at this point what the plan will be to advance that delivery date.

My obstetrician wants to have an amniocentesis performed so that we make sure Kelric’s lungs are far enough developed before labor is induced. The breast surgeon wants to immediately wisk me into a lymph node removal surgery as soon as I deliver so that she can make sure the cancer hasn’t spread to my lymph nodes. My cancer treatments will deny me the time to breast feed my baby. If I test positive for a certain genetic factor, the surgeon recommends a double mastectomy and the removal of both ovaries to prevent future complications. I’m devastated on so many levels I don’t know how to feel. A second opinion is in order, and things have moved so fast that I’ll have to do that quickly before final decisions are made.

Guy has been wonderful, of course. My mother, father, and step-mom all came to the hospital to support me today and the mothers are working on a schedule to help care for me when the baby comes.

Overall I’m feeling alright, but the incision is starting to hurt again and I need to return to the recliner to put ice on it. Please wait a day or two before calling if you feel inclined to call. Today I’m too raw to talk about it much. Tomorrow should be better. I’ll try to send out an update Monday or Tuesday next week.


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