7/9/2006
Last Thursday was my final round of chemotherapy. Hooray! Now all I have to do is get through the next two weeks of side effects and then my body can start to return to normal.
I had infections during the “odd” Taxol treatments (#s 1 and 3) that sent me to the hospital both times. I did pretty well with the “even” treatment (#2) and so far I’m doing well with #4. Last night the backs of my hands were tingling and my muscles hurt pretty much everywhere if I put any pressure on them. It was odd. The tissue above my collarbone hurt, as did my neck, my shoulders, the top of my head, my back, arms, and thighs. Guy pointed out that the Taxol was working its way through my system again and I believe he was right. It started in the center and spread out, then the pain went away overnight.
This morning I had scads of energy so I did a thorough job of vacuuming the music room and I tackled the piles of laundry. I washed the dogs’ food and water bowls and made breakfast. This afternoon I vacuumed the kitchen and the stairs. I had hoped to get the living room and upstairs rooms but that may have to wait. I’ll get tired, rest, then get another surge of energy whereupon I’ll work like mad for a bit and then get tired again. Guy has warned me not to overdo it. I’m trying not to overdo but it’s so nice to feel good now and then that I just want to dive into all the projects that had to wait while I was too tired.
My latest project I’ve started for fun is reading a book titled Business Calculus Demystified. The first part of the book is a review of algebra. I’ve started at the beginning and I’m working my way through the exercises. Some of this stuff is familiar and some of it I’m having to memorize all over again because I’ve completely forgotten it. Some of it is surprisingly easy and that is really fun. Guy is a little freaked out that I’m having fun with a calculus book, but hey – we can’t all be talented artists with heavy right-brained abilities. I’m intrigued that calculus could have much of anything to do with business math. It will be interesting to see if any of it applies to my job down the line. My left brain is singing with anticipation. My right brain has been writing poetry so my head is overall a happy place over mental challenges.
Speaking of my head, Guy says the pale blond hairs at the back of my head are beginning to curl slightly. Taxol has made my hair grow VERY slowly. I imagine after it wears off in two weeks my hair will return at the typical half inch per month rate that most people’s hair grows.
Now I get a three week break before radiation starts up. During the next three weeks I’m going to celebrate our five-year wedding anniversary with my husband (next weekend). I’ll meet with the radiologist the week after our anniversary and discuss the details of my radiation treatment. A couple of days after that I’ll meet with the breast surgeon for a checkup and a confirmation of the surgery July 24 to remove the port from my arm. Then the port comes out (Hooray! Hooray!) and presumably in August my radiation begins.
What has been described to me initially is a treatment plan of getting radiation every Monday through Friday for 7 weeks straight. The main side effects I expect are fatigue that gets more pronounced as the radiation treatments go on and possible (probable) sunburn to the site that receives the radiation. A temporary thickening of the skin can also be expected.
I’m glad that Guy accompanied me to my chemotherapy treatments and pre-chemo visits with my oncologist. I had already forgotten this detail but it came up in conversation today at lunch. I can expect to return to the cancer center to see my oncologist every six months for the next five years as a follow-up “let’s make sure the cancer hasn’t come back or metastasized” visit. That’s a cheerful thought, eh? At least they should catch any kind of recurrence early if I’m being watched so closely. It’s comforting in a spooky sort of way.
I feel a little bit adrift now that I’m no longer staring at more rounds of chemotherapy. I was so excited about reaching this point last week before I got here. Now that I’m here I’m not sure how to feel. I’m grateful that the dread of the next treatment is gone. I’m annoyed that I still have to suffer through this round’s side effects before I feel good again. I’m excited that my hair is growing back, the neuropathy should fade away over the next few months, and perhaps over the next year or so the early menopause I’m now experiencing will reverse as well. I’m getting really tired of hot flashes. I’m impatient to return to feeling normal nearly every day instead of once in a while or for only part of a day.
If I focus on the positives I start to cheer up. I’ll have energy again! I’ll get to drop the dietary restrictions! I won’t have to go to the hospital if I start running a fever! Pretty soon I should be able to return to a 40-hour-per-week work schedule (and a full salary again) and then the medical bills that have stacked up won’t be as depressing. No, that’s not quite honest. The medical bills will still be depressing, but returning to being able to pay the regular bills without as much juggling will be a welcome change.
Thank you again for the e-mails and cards, the jokes and phone calls. Thank you for the baby sitting and the meals and the love and support. Thank you for listening and for reading and for passing these updates along to others who care. I’ll continue to write and let you know how the next phase goes, but today is a landmark and it needs to be acknowledged. This journey began in late January when I first noticed a lump that hurt. We spent February trying to figure out what the lump was and we spent March trying to figure out how best to treat what we learned was cancer. It’s early July now. My son turns four months old next Thursday. This has been one hell of a journey and I’m so very grateful I didn’t have to travel alone. Thank you for being there.
Angela
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