Angela the Pink Tiger (Breast Cancer Survivor): 59 Things a-happenin'

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

It's October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and exciting things have been happening for me lately.

First, my personal story was published on Dr. Susan Love's web site mid-September. That was exciting. I spent a lot of time reading all of the stories of other women when I was in treatment. It gave me encouragement to know that I wasn't alone out there. Now I get to be one of the people giving the encouragement and I'm thrilled.

http://susanlove.com/breastcancer/content.asp?L2=7&L3=3&SID=233&CID=1266&PID=82&CATID=0

Several women have written to me since the Dr. Love posting came out. It never ceases to amaze me how good it feels to have complete strangers reaching out like that. And for the moment I can type "Angela the Pink Tiger" into Google and my blog is the first hit. That's new!

The last weekend of September I participated in the 12th Annual Champagne Brunch and Silent Auction which benefitted the Breast Cancer Resource Center. I was the committee chair of check-ins and checkouts. I had a grand time planning and organizing the details of my committee's participation. With thorough preparation, a great spreadsheet/database setup that produced invoices, and phenomenal volunteers we had the best year ever with respect to smooth checkouts. It was a lot of work and a LOT of fun!

This month, I was fortunate to be one of five women from the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls to receive a free makeover from Bo Salon. The makeover was last Monday. They colored my hair red! I have never dyed my hair in my life so this was quite the interesting experience! And then they put tastefully done makeup on my face. I thought the lipstick was a bit strong but I liked the overall affect with the rest of it. I didn't like it enough to start wearing makeup all the time, but it was fun for the day.

Local TV station KVUE filmed before and after shots of all five of us.

The makeover also included a free manicure for me. Some of the girls chose manicures and at least one of us opted for a body scrub instead. I decided that I didn't care for the nail polish thing. I damaged it almost immediately and chipped it even more doing dishes that night. Painted nails are not for me, but it was fun trying.

We also all got a free appointment with dermatologist Ted Lain of Steiner Ranch Dermatology. I think we all did Botox. One or more of us got a filler, too. Botox lasts for 3-4 months and a fill lasts for 12 months. I didn't do the fill but I'm regretting the Botox. Botox eliminates wrinkles by deadening the muscles that cause the wrinkles. The muscles between my eyebrows are nicely quiescent and smooth these days so the wrinkles are gone, but every time I want to crinkle my brow to express sympathy or frustration I find that it no longer works. It's weird! I'm glad that will wear off in a few months.

Also, I'm going to be on local TV in a few weeks. Saturday, October 27 I have a slot to appear live on KVUE's morning news show between 8:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. (That's channel 4 in Austin, Texas.) My fellow Pink Ribbon Cowgirl Donna will be with me. We're both going to be interviewed about the makeovers and our breast cancer experiences. All five of us have appeared or will appear in these staggered newcasts. They want us to spread the word about the importance of self-exams but I'm tempted to plug the importance of voting for Proposition 15 in the upcoming November 2007 election (in Texas). Proposition 15 is a constitutional amendment that would allow state funding of cancer research for $30 billion over the next 10 years. It's also a topic I wish to say a great deal more about so I will save that for a near-future blog entry.

The makeover was truly a wonderful experience. They treated us so well at Bo Salon. I got a new hairstyle that I love. The owner Ron King strikes me as a genuinely nice person. I'm not often starstruck by people with power or who know famous people, but I was suitably impressed when I learned that Mr. King did the makeup of Victoria's Secret models at a recent fashion show. I know that Victoria's Secret is extremely selective with who participates in their shows and only the best of the best are considered.

I am grateful to KVUE, Ron King of Bo Salon, and Dr. Ted Lain to have been one of the recipients of this wonderful opportunity.

My friends with red hair have indicated so far that they love my new hair color. I can't afford to have it colored again anytime soon so I've grown fond of saying, "I only have a few weeks to look this beautiful." I liked my original hair color so I don't mind going back to it, whatever that was. I used to be dark blonde but now I've accepted that my post-chemo hair color was actually light brown with copper highlights. Now I have a style I can take to my usual awesome stylist Diana Vicars and say "make it look like this, please." That reminds me, I need to get my husband to take more pictures of the new 'do' while it still looks good...

One last cool thing coming is my poem "Radiation on a Rainy Day" appearing in the upcoming winter edition of Women & Cancer magazine. I am very excited about that. This marks the first time one of my poems has been published by a nationally distributed magazine.

I've written one or two new poems that might be suitable to share, but finding the time to type them up is another story...

On a sad note, I've learned of two more women peripheral to my circle of friends and acquaintances who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. One woman is the friend of a friend. One is the sister of a consultant I work with. Another one of my Pink Ribbon Cowgirl friends has had her cancer return as Stage IV - metastatic. It saddens me that breast cancer hasn't stopped claiming new victims. I know that statistically it will get around 212,000 of us this year, but the cost of all that human suffering is more poignant when you know more of the players. One of my great uncles was diagnosed recently with lymphoma, so I know yet another person touched by cancer. That's why I feel so strongly about people voting for Proposition 15; it's a chance to make a real difference in the war against cancer.

I still get paranoid whenever I get a headache. I had my checkups in early October, including another mammogram. Things look good so far. Here's to hoping it stays that way.

That reminds me...I thought it would be nice to repeat something the dermatologist asked me. He wanted to know how my cancer experience has affected my life. I gave it some thought before answering. I told him that after my brush with breast cancer I feel more fierce. I thought of my "pink tiger" persona for the blog name and decided I had chosen an apt mascot.

I feel fierce about protecting my son, about protecting my right to spend time with my family (versus piling up overtime at my job), and about doing little things as I can afford the energy to fight cancer. I thought more about his question, though, and gave a second part to my answer. Part of me feels more vulnerable now, I told the doctor. I know from experience that my body can do nasty things on its own like grow cancerous tumors and I may not even be aware of them for quite some time. That's scary stuff.

My adventures with cancer have heightened my appreciation for my life - every day of it. My son is a toddler now and his language skills are exploding. Every week he learns new words. Every day he changes just a little bit. It's exciting to see him growing and healthy and learning so much. It's also frightening how quickly time passes.

Kelric is 19 months old now. I've been a survivor for 19 months. Will I see him grow up? Will I still be here in 5 years, 10 years, longer? I want to hold him and freeze these moments in time so I can savor them slowly. My heart aches with longing to be home with my little boy more often than weeknights and weekends. Life intrudes, though, with pesky financial obligations and flying minutes that pile into lost days. My obligation to myself and my family, I believe, is to be aware of those minutes and to actively love all I can and savor what I can as time goes by.

So that's what I do.

Fierce. Vulnerable. Loving. Savoring. Strong and nuturing. I am Woman. Hear me roar.

Angela

October 27, 2007

Here is the link to the TV interview.