85 An Award

Something wonderful happened in January 2011.  My company held the annual sales conference and awards banquet for our division.  All the outside sales staff and managers were there.  I think all the inside sales staff and managers were there, too. 


Last year I skipped out early to be home with my son.  I knew that my husband would be facing whines like, "When is Mommy coming home?" and a stubborn little boy would try to stay awake until my return.  I kind of hated to go, though, as I found that I enjoyed supporting my co-workers and clapping with the others as the respective winners took the stage and accepted their awards.  At home I received confirmation that the bedtime routine had been just as heart wrenching for my husband as I had expected, so I felt like I had made the right choice last year even though it was awkward to leave early.

I had nothing appropriate to wear to the banquet this year, and little money to buy anything.  I mentioned this to the right girlfriend at the right time and she loaned me a dress in the right size.  It was blue, beaded (yay!), and beautiful on my less-than-perfect figure.  With borrowed jewelry to accessorize perfectly and a few hours sunk into securing wayward beads before the big event, I felt glorious.

And nervous.
 

I was in a hotel with all these co-workers I know by name because I prepare the sales reports but I didn't know their faces.  Nearly all of them were strangers to me, and I find it exhausting to make small talk with strangers.  I also find it exhausting to talk with people in a noisy, crowded area, and the space outside the ballroom was super crowded and far too loud for my comfort.  I threaded my way past the crowd to the spaces without people, and entertained myself by searching for the ladies room which was harder to find than it should have been.

Dinner was delicious, and I even recognized most of the people at my table.  I had one embarrassing moment when the meringue of my dessert fell off my fork and into the ample cleavage of my dress.  One napkin for coverage and a quick fishing expedition later and things were restored to normal.  By then the awards ceremony was underway, the lights had dimmed, and most people's eyes were on the stage.  Only one person behind our table softly chuckled so I think the meringue incident went mostly without notice.  You can dress me up, but you can't take me out, I thought to myself, feeling like a clod.  How I hate formal occasions!  I never feel polished enough to pull them off.  Instead I feel like a poser, treading water during the moments of the event until I can escape to more familiar places and people.


Still, I was glad to once again be supporting my co-workers as they accepted their various awards.  I was glad to be staying for the entire awards show this year since our son is now old enough to let his father put him to bed without pining endlessly for me.  And then the award for Operational Excellence in 2010 came up.  As our General Manager/Division Vice President announced the winner, he started describing the work this person does.




me, jubliant, the night I won

A thrill ran through me as I realized he was describing my work.  I stood as my name was called to receive this honor, and most of the ballroom stood with me.  I floated on a dream as I walked the stage and received heartfelt congratulations from the regional directors.  These were people I had sought to help over the last year by honing certain standard reports and adding features that made it easier to slice and dice information.  I spent hours finding the right combination of colors and organization to make things intuitive and easy to read.  I took on special projects and shared some of my skills by teaching classes.  Out of all the people my company could have picked for this year's award, they selected me.  What an incredible feeling!  Yes I went above and beyond, but I'm used to companies taking that for granted and then pouting about not getting more from their people.  This company decided to recognize my contributions and I smiled all the way home that evening.

I was the only winner who received a standing ovation, and I received congratulations over the next few days for that detail as much as for the award itself.



After living through cancer and heaps of other difficult events before and after that, it was really, really nice to have something go well for a change.  Thank you, Amy, for loaning me the dress and jewelry so I could look beautiful that night.


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